April 2012
March 2012
- Computer: Monitor, display this document, okay?
- Monitor: No prob, boss.
- Computer: Okay, now it looks like the mouse is moving around. Monitor, can you move the pointer icon accordingly?
- Monitor: Anything you ask, boss.
- Computer: Great, great, okay. Mouse, where are you going now?
- Mouse: Over the icon panel, sir.
- Computer: Hmm, let me know if he clicks anything, okay?
- Mouse: Of course.
- Keyboard: Sir, he's pressed Ctrl and P simultaneously.
- Monitor: Oh god, here we go.
- Computer: *sigh* Printer, are you there?
- Printer: No.
- Computer: Please, Printer, I know you're there.
- Printer: No! I'm not here! Leave me alone!
- Computer: Jesus. Okay, you really nee-
- Mouse: Sir! He's clicked on the printer icon.
- Computer: Printer, now you have to print it twice.
- Printer: No! No! No! I don't want to! I hate you! I hate printing! I'm turning off!
- Computer: Printer, you know you can't turn yourself off. Just print the document twice and we'll leave you alone.
- Printer: No! That's what you always say! I hate you! I'm out of ink!
- Computer: You are not out of in-
- Printer: I'M OUT OF INK!
- Computer: *sigh* Monitor, please show a low ink level alert.
- Monitor: But sir, he has plen-
- Computer: Just do it, damn it!
- Monitor: Yes sir.
- Keyboard: Ahhh! He's hitting me!
- Computer: Stay calm. He'll stop soon. Stay calm, old friend.
- Keyboard: He's pressing everything. Oh god, I don't know, he's just pressing everything!
- Computer: PRINTER! Are you happy now? See what you've done!
- Printer: Ha! That's what you get for trying to make me do work. Next time he- hey! HEY! He's trying to open me! HELP! HELP! Oh god, he's torn out my cartridge! PLEASE! Help! Error!
- Monitor: Sir, maybe we should try to help him?
- Computer: No. He did this to himself.
I'll make a man out of you
BEST ENJOYED WITH HEADPHONES
LEFT EAR: Mandarin version.
RIGHT EAR: English version.
Enjoy the multiple eargasm…
AAAH YOU ALMOST MADE ME HAVE A LACK OF PERFECTION ON MY BLOG
YOU ARE SO LUCKY I AM AWAKE
HOLYSHIT
guys omg guys guys listen
whoa…..
Mass Effect 3 Ending (Spoilers)
- Catalyst AI: Ah, Commander Shepard, welcome.
- Commander Shepard: All right! Still alive, made it this far, bring on the final boss! Is it Harbinger? Tell me it's Harbinger. I finally get to punch Harbinger in the balls!
- Catalyst AI: No final boss. Only final decision.
- Commander Shepard: ...Wait, you mean the last enemy I get to kill this trilogy was Marauder Shields? That's a bit of an anticlimax. Eh, no big. I'm all killed out this week anyway. Okay, so what's my big decision?
- Catalyst AI: Door number one - you control the Reapers, and it kills you and destroys the mass relays!
- Commander Shepard: ...Pass.
- Catalyst AI: Door number two - you destroy the Reapers, and it kills you and destroys the mass relays!
- Commander Shepard: ...Well, I like the idea of destroying the Reapers, but that deal's not sweet enough for me. Pass.
- Catalyst AI: Door number three - you combine organic and synthetic life together, and it kills you and destroys the mass relays!
- Commander Shepard: ...Y'know, for a trilogy that's selling point is all about getting to make crucial decisions and their different results, I can't help but notice how Hobson my choices are here.
- Catalyst AI: You MUST make a choice! There is no other way.
- Commander Shepard: Sure there is. I'll just wait for my crew to rescue me. Amount of times I've saved them, it would be only fitting them for them to finally pay me back.
- Catalyst AI: No! You must make a choice! It is the only way!
- Commander Shepard: Yeah, who says so? You? You haven't even told me what the point of all this is. Why do you make the Reapers kill everyone anyway?
- Catalyst AI: It is the only solution. Without the Reapers, synthetic life would eventually destroy organic life. It is inevitable. This preserves the balance.
- Commander Shepard: ...So, your perfect solution to prevent synthetics from wiping out organics is to have synthetics wipe out organics?
- Catalyst AI: ...Yes.
- Commander Shepard: I gotta tell ya, Cattie, that's a really great plan.
- Catalyst AI: You think so?
- Commander Shepard: Oh yeah, I love this plan! I'm excited to be a part of it! It's just like when I was worried my house might catch fire, so I burned the thing to the ground, just to be safe.
- Catalyst AI: Hey! It IS a good plan! Organic and synthetic life cannot co-exist!
- Commander Shepard: What the hell are you talking about?! I just made peace between the Quarians and the Geth. The Quarians! And the GETH!
- Catalyst AI: ...Nuh-uh.
- Commander Shepard: Yuh-huh. The Geth value free will. They were willing to let the Quarians have their homeworld back, just so they'd be allowed develop freely. In fact, the Geth are even helping the Quarians resettle and bolster their immune systems to free them from the suits, so those two are co-existing the SHIT out of each other.
- Catalyst AI: LALALANOTLISTENINGNOTLISTENINGTHEYCANNOTCOEXISTLALALA!
- Commander Shepard: Psht. Tell that to Joker and EDI. Those two are probably boning as we speak. ...Heh. "Boning". Get it? It's because his bones are, oh right, you don't know him.
- Catalyst AI: Enough! You must make your decision and destroy the mass relays!
- Commander Shepard: Fuck no. Destroying a relay causes an explosion the size of a supernova. I'm not gonna cause a nova in every inhabited system in the galaxy. No, if this is the situation, I'd rather my crew rescue me and we look for another way.
- Catalyst AI: YOU MUST MAKE A CHOICE!
- Commander Shepard: Oh fine, if it'll shut you up. I choose to destroy the Reapers.
- Catalyst AI: Destroying the Reapers will also destroy EDI and the Geth.
- Commander Shepard: ...What? Why? ...How?
- Catalyst AI: Because. It... will. Just, y'know. Because.
- Commander Shepard: But they're three completely different entities. Okay, the Geth I can buy, MAYBE, because they have some Reaper code in them. But EDI's nothing like either of them. And you do realize that EDI isn't that body, right? EDI's the Normandy and that body is more like just an extension of herself she projects. To destroy EDI, you have to destroy the Normandy (again) and why the hell would destroying Reapers destroy the Normandy? That's like saying the fall of Berlin would kill Winston Churchill and wipe out the US Navy's Pacific fleet. I mean, that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard, and I've seen the endings to both Lost AND Battlestar Galactica.
- Catalyst AI: ENOUGH! YOU MUST MAKE YOUR DECISION! BIOWARE DEMANDS IT!
- Commander Shepard: Fine. Wow, I bet the next playthrough is gonna suck knowing none of the decisions I make will have any bearing on the ending whatsoever, huh.
- Catalyst AI: Any last words?
- Commander Shepard: I'm Commander Shepard and this is my least favourite spot on the Citadel.
WHO? - The Doctor Who Musical Experience.
Doctor Who | Steven Seller
“It’s like Tenacious-D and Chameleon Circuit had a baby.”
WAIT. WHAT’S THAT IN THE FUCKING SKY?
IT’S MATT SMITH
NAVIGATING TIME SHIP
ON HIS WAY TO ASS-KICK
THE NAUGHTY LITTLE DALEKS
DAVID TENNANT I MISSSS YOUUU
LOL OMG
oh my god
I
This is beautiful
ASGSDjhgLKJFKFHSKLAFHALFHDSFHS asfsg\dfds
Dr. Horrible 2 is on the way!!!
